This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
