its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
