where does the pee come out of this thing
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
