he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
