she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
