my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
