I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
