so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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