help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
