She just used a chaser for red wine.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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