I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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