I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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