I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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