This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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