3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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