honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
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