Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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