why didn't you poke me back
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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