I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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