rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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