There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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