I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
