My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
