If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My breasts were aching with rage.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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