i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
