Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
