He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
