even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
