i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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