I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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