We need to start having sex underwater more often.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize