I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
