marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
