Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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