The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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