I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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