I wish they made helmets for livers.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
