I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize