I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?