is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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