4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
