i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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