Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
