Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
