im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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