That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
