youre lurking in front of me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize