my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
