The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
