Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
