You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
