billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
