I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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