is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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