He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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