So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
