i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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